On Dick Wolf getting a brand new NBC present:
“Dick Wolf, the Michael Jordan of character actors getting murdered within the park.”
On Disney beating Netflix in ad-supported viewers:
“Disney has 164 million lively customers per month throughout our ad-supported platforms, greater than twice the quantity Netflix has. I don’t have a joke for that … I simply need you to know that we lastly beat these motherf****rs at one thing.”
On CBS successful the printed season:
“CBS was the most-watched community once more for the seventeenth yr in a row. Led by their hit comedy ‘Ghosts.’ Which is additionally what most of their viewers will be quickly.”
On ABC not having new exhibits:
“Our fish will not be recent. However what we do have? Season grand-mother-f***ing two of The Golden Bachelor! Say what you’ll about ABC, we’re nonetheless the one community the place you may see pop-pop get a squeezer in a scorching tub!”
On ESPN’s new streaming service being called “ESPN”:
“So what’s going to this mysterious new streaming service be referred to as? Properly, , that they had a conclave. And slightly puff of white smoke got here out of Jimmy Pitaro’s ass … And the brand new service bringing dwell content material to hundreds of thousands of followers world wide will go by the identify ‘ESPN.’ And that’s why they name us ‘Imagineers.’”
On ESPN getting a brand new streamer however preserving ESPN+:
“You’re going to get much less content material on ESPN+. The ‘plus’ is now, in some ways, a minus. If you need the plus, you need to pay much less for it. It’s all a part of our plan to confuse you till you hand us the debit card of everybody in your loved ones.”
On ABC’s viewers shrinking, however CPMS going up:
“Yearly, our viewers will get smaller, and we inform you it’s greater, and we would like extra, for much less. And it’s exhausting. I do know. We’re annoying and unreasonable, and you’ve got shitty jobs due to it. However at least you have the shitty jobs! All these youngsters we noticed graduating this weekend … some of them might need thus far Invoice Belichick to make ends meet.”
Source link
