{"id":21987,"date":"2022-12-08T16:26:21","date_gmt":"2022-12-08T16:26:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mailinvest.blog\/index.php\/2022\/12\/08\/this-one-simple-skill-will-change-your-life\/"},"modified":"2022-12-08T16:26:21","modified_gmt":"2022-12-08T16:26:21","slug":"this-one-simple-skill-will-change-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mailinvest.blog\/index.php\/2022\/12\/08\/this-one-simple-skill-will-change-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"This One Simple Skill Will Change Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>\n<\/p>\n

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\n
\"This<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

I was at the typical pre-event \u201cmeet and greet\u201d at a conference<\/a>. As I was enjoying a few drinks and networking<\/a> \u2013 I ended up in a rather revealing conversation. <\/p>\n

I asked their name (a waste of time, due to the prominent name badge) and enquired about what brought them to the conference. I proceeded to ask more questions because I was curious. <\/p>\n

For the next 10 minutes, I was able to discover this person\u2019s motivations<\/a> and a bit about their background and life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I was then asked a typical question that I was happy to answer.\u00a0 \u201cSo what do you do?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

I started to reply, only a few words into my first sentence before I noticed that their eyes were glazed over and they were scanning the room.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all met those people.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your impression of them plummets as you know they don\u2019t care about you or are even faintly interested.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You can do two things. Persist or leave.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I exited stage right.<\/p>\n

\n
\n\"Traffic<\/p>\n

Free Download<\/h2>\n

The Ultimate Guide to Website Traffic for Business<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

The only person in the room<\/h2>\n

Occasionally we meet someone who makes us feel like we\u2019re the only person in the room.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What\u2019s the difference?\u00a0<\/p>\n

The soft skill of communication<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Listening. <\/p>\n

A simple but often forgotten practice. It\u2019s not hard to do but its importance is lost in the ego. It\u2019s a skill that is certainly not taught at school.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Bill Clinton<\/a> was renowned for his charisma and engagement. When he was in conversation with someone the art of listening was on full display. He was not only able to achieve this \u201cone-on-one\u201d but he could also do it from the stage.<\/p>\n

Focused active listening skills\u00a0<\/h2>\n

What does that mean? Here are a few tips.<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Start with healthy, friendly eye contact (one way of helping you do that is to ask yourself the question \u2018What is the color of their eyes?\u2019). But be careful not to stare too much or they will think you are creepy.\u00a0<\/li>\n
  • Ask open questions. Eg: What brought you to the conference?<\/li>\n
  • Clarify their answers with tentative feedback to see if you heard them and are sensing the feeling behind their answer. Eg: \u201cSo I am suspecting that you maybe don\u2019t want to be here as it was just a demand from the boss?\u00a0<\/li>\n
  • Listen for the response and if you hear words like, \u201cabsolutely\u201d then you have nailed it. If you hear a phrase like \u201cnot really\u201d then you have more to do.<\/li>\n
  • Refrain from getting distracted by making sure your internal chatter is not ready to take over the conversation. While you are thinking you are not listening. Active charismatic listening is about them and not about you.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    There is a lot more to the skill of listening but if you can keep a person talking about themselves for 30 minutes and then they say \u201cI don\u2019t know anything about you\u201d, you have succeeded at communication 101.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    You have suspended your ego for half an hour and as I have learned \u201cYour ego is not you amigo\u201d<\/p>\n

    And that is a superpower.<\/p>\n

    The problem?<\/h2>\n

    Talking is overrated and listening is underrated. And this is why: <\/p>\n

      \n
    • It\u2019s not taught at school.\u00a0<\/li>\n
    • It is also something we often don\u2019t learn from our parents.\u00a0<\/li>\n
    • It is largely ignored\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

      It is time to change and we need a listening revolution.<\/p>\n

      We need to change the game<\/h2>\n

      The art of listening is often seen as a secondary skill to speaking or presenting. That game needs to be flipped. If we listened more there would be fewer wars and more understanding. <\/p>\n

      We have courses and organizations that promote talking like \u201cToastmasters\u201d, and there\u2019s nothing wrong with that. But maybe we need a movement that celebrates more listening and less telling.<\/p>\n

      It\u2019s a superpower<\/h2>\n

      How do you feel when someone listens to you and understands where you are and what you do? Special. Engaged.\u00a0<\/p>\n

        \n
      • It is essential for nurturing personal relationships. Try applying good listening skills on a date and see what happens. You\u2019ll have a much better evening and more sex.\u00a0\u00a0<\/li>\n
      • It\u2019s vital for professional development. Listen to all the smart people in your office and ask questions and listen and learn.\u00a0<\/li>\n
      • Salespeople that develop the skill of listening are some of the highest-paid employees on the planet.\u00a0<\/li>\n
      • Learn by listening to your clients. They don\u2019t care about the features of your product or service. They only care about what it will do for them. So ask them questions and quietly listen. Let the silence do the work.\u00a0<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        I did a course on listening after observing my father\u2019s talking skills for decades. It changed my life.<\/p>\n

        What does it take?<\/h2>\n

        So what does it take to develop the communication skill that isn\u2019t often taught or talked about?\u00a0<\/p>\n

        It starts with self-awareness (you may discover that you talk too much) and then that allows you to be aware of others. <\/p>\n

        On the other side of that is a world of growing, engaged personal and business relationships that will open the doors to a world of opportunity.<\/p>\n

        It\u2019s not about you, it is about them.<\/p>\n

        Start practising your listening skills today. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n