{"id":130758,"date":"2026-06-12T11:09:11","date_gmt":"2026-06-12T11:09:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mailinvest.blog\/index.php\/2026\/06\/12\/bofh-for-one-ambitious-security-type-chaos-is-a-ladder\/"},"modified":"2026-06-12T11:10:12","modified_gmt":"2026-06-12T11:10:12","slug":"bofh-for-one-ambitious-security-type-chaos-is-a-ladder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mailinvest.blog\/index.php\/2026\/06\/12\/bofh-for-one-ambitious-security-type-chaos-is-a-ladder\/","title":{"rendered":"BOFH: For one ambitious security type, chaos is a ladder"},"content":{"rendered":"

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EPISODE 11\u00a0<\/span>“And uh… what are you doing?” the Head of Safety asks, coming into the Safety workplace as I am making my solution to the exit \u2013 with a PC underneath my arm.<\/p>\n

“Simply taking this again to the workplace to archive the contents after which reset it to manufacturing unit defaults,” I say. “Firm coverage when somebody has been… let go.”<\/p>\n

There have been a variety of adjustments at Safety \u2013 the identical variety of adjustments as there was members of Safety workers. Apparently, consuming countless pastries and watching pirated films is not an industry-standard process for safety professionals. Moreover, the spate of alcohol thefts from the boardroom liquor cupboard appears to have ended after HR found a number of empty bottles in Safety’s overflowing recycling bin…<\/p>\n

HR acted swiftly (for a change) and an entire new safety workforce was employed, headed by a eager new broom \u2013 who’s at present blocking the doorway…<\/p>\n

To say that he is enthusiastic in his function could be an understatement. His first transfer was to isolate Safety onto a very separate web feed, firewalled off from the remainder of the Firm. Transfer two was to implement a plan of recording the tools individuals depart the constructing with \u2013 one thing that is proving relatively unpopular with laptop computer customers.<\/p>\n

“Oh, I do not assume we’ll want it to be erased,” he says, holding out his arms to retrieve the machine from my grasp.<\/p>\n

“Actually, there is not any telling what’s on this machine,” I say. “Malware, copyright films, porn even. We do not know. It is safer \u2013 for the Firm \u2013 if we simply begin from a clear machine. We’d even simply dump it to be on the secure facet.”<\/p>\n

“Positive,” the Head of Safety says. “Although that machine seems prefer it’s nearly model new. It is nonetheless acquired stickers on it! And it seems pretty… excessive finish. I feel we will take the chance. I am fairly up-to-date with IT safety and the like \u2013 so perhaps you must let me fear about…”<\/p>\n

“I feel this could in all probability be HR’s name,” I reply. “They might need to make certain the Firm is not uncovered to any danger that the machine would possibly current.”<\/p>\n

“I can name HR for those who like,” the Chief Pie-eater suggests, calling my bluff and reaching for his telephone. “However I doubt they’d be too involved.”<\/p>\n

“They need to be. If there’s malware put in on the restoration partition, you may reinfect the machine once you restore it to manufacturing unit defaults.”<\/p>\n

“Thanks to your concern,” he says, wresting the machine from my grasp and stepping out of the doorway.<\/p>\n

…<\/p>\n

In order that’s how it will be.<\/p>\n

Clearly, we knew there was going to be bother. We ready ourselves for it. The brand new Safety workforce has an enthusiasm for the job that was fully absent from the previous crew, primarily as a result of they’re jockeying for the place of 2IC.<\/p>\n

The Boss is ready for me after I get again to Mission Management.<\/p>\n

“Simply had a name from Safety. Apparently, you had been making an attempt to… take away… one among their machines?”<\/p>\n

“Yeah. I used to be going to erase it and restore it to manufacturing unit settings.”<\/p>\n

“Could not you simply do this there?”<\/p>\n

“We want to do a reinstall on the DMZ phase \u2013 simply in case there’s any malware on the machine after we restore it.”<\/p>\n

“Proper. Nicely, I talked to the man, and it definitely gave the impression of he had all the pieces underneath management,” the Boss assures me.<\/p>\n

And so there you go. The Boss can decide somebody’s technical competence from a two-minute telephone name. It have to be one among his superpowers, together with the poisonous physique odor and the power to smell out a kebab stand in a farmers’ market.<\/p>\n

Two minutes later, in Mission Management\u2026<\/p>\n

“Proper,” I say, coming into Mission Management. “Everybody prepared?”<\/p>\n

The PFY nods.<\/p>\n

The lead candidate for 2IC of Safety nods.<\/p>\n

“One of many pitfalls with safety varieties is that they usually shave with Occam’s razor,” I say. “When seeing somebody leaving the workplace with a PC underneath their arm, they instantly assume ‘workplace theft,’ relatively than pondering ‘did this individual carry the aforementioned machine into the workplace within the first place, wait till they heard somebody approaching, then make to exit the workplace?'”<\/p>\n

The 2IC candidate contemplates this silently.<\/p>\n

“One other downside with safety varieties is the way to have fun a victory. On this scenario, a clever individual wouldn’t merely ‘improve’ their desktop machine with this newer and shinier merchandise \u2013 as a result of it may need an contaminated working system \u2013 AND contaminated restoration partition. No, a clever individual would first sca-“<\/p>\n

“Ooh, we’re in enterprise!” the PFY interrupts, as his machine receives a ping.<\/p>\n

“Proper,” I say to Safety 2IC, “I would give it perhaps half an hour \u2013 to essentially trash your community \u2013 earlier than I head downstairs. Then perhaps I would ask why all of the machines in your workplace seem like going loopy.”<\/p>\n

“And also you assume that may be sufficient to get him fired, do you?” he asks.<\/p>\n

“It will likely be once you uncover the stash of Firm laptops within the boot of his automobile as he leaves the parking basement,” the PFY says. “And ensure you have the Head of HR with you.”<\/p>\n

“Why’s that?” the soon-to-be Head of Safety asks.<\/p>\n

“As a result of one of many laptops is his…”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n